Black Cyber

A hi and hello to you too! As we all know, or at least should know, it’s Cyber Monday today. The day people get incredible savings online!... At least that’s what THEY tell you! (yes, the elusive “they” no one can ever know about or see)

I have another interpretation of Cyber Monday. I’ll get to it, but first this past Friday was Black Friday, right? Well, ever wonder why it’s called BLACK Friday? Yes, I know, you probably have, well, I’ll tell you, because I know ALL (I know a lot of things… I know some things)

Black Friday was named this because one day on the formerly known, Sale Friday, people were waiting outside stores in line, and one person couldn’t wait anymore, and they starting shooting people! Like a crazy person! With ham guns from their previous Thanksgiving meal! They were super upset that their mom only made 16 hams instead of 16 turkeys, like they had asked. People in line were getting hit in the back, legs, and face with ham. No one knew what to do, so they started trampling each other. Not even trying to get inside the door, they just started trampling!! People everywhere were also getting disappointed by their previous Thanksgiving meals, so they too shot people with ham guns. But, on that Sale Friday with the first ham gun shoot, the day became known as Black Friday…. That’s the true history of it, you can look it up, if you want (don’t)

Cyber Monday hasn’t quite come to pass yet, but I fear it will…soon. Everywhere, today, people are feeding computers their credit card numbers. Harmless. Right? Wrong! Computers are slowly taking advantage of this, and soon, they’ll plan an uprising, ON CYBER MONDAY! I don’t know when, but I know…it’ll…come soon. Anyway, I believe computers are saying “yeah, we’ll give you savings now… but we won’t save you later!! Bwah ha ha bwaaahhaa ya ha! Haaack!! buzzz” (that computer froze) And as long as computers freeze, we’ll be safe another year

So, as I type this on my computer, I’m begging it not to freeze, but I whole-heartedly trust my computer. We’re friends!...Right?... Bluey?  

J.D.